Ronald Reagan was the first president I ever voted for. He was also my first Commander-in-Chief. There was never a question in my mind about who I would vote for that day. It was a foregone conclusion. Because in my family, we only ever voted for Republicans, no matter what. So I of course registered as a Republican for my first vote, and never expected to not be.
My family moved to California in 1947 from Des Moines, Iowa, and brought with them their conservative Christian values. My mom had boxes of Republican campaign memorabilia, buttons, bumper stickers and newspaper clippings. Pictures of Nixon, Goldwater and Reagan adorned the wall next to a portrait of Jesus. Democrat was a bad word in our house.
As a teen my mom had knit sweaters and socks for US troops overseas, my uncle served during WWII in the Army Air Corps. Mom acknowledged President Roosevelt being key to leading the country out of the great depression and defeating the axis powers and winning the war. And yet to her dying day she referred to Roosevelt as “that damn Democrat.” She didn’t have a specific reason for hating Roosevelt, other than he was a Democrat. In her mind that was a cardinal sin.
Voting with the Family
For many years I followed the voting preferences of my family. When looking for a candidate, always choose someone who is Republican, White, Male and with a Christian name. In the opinion of my family, the best candidates were veterans or business ‘men’. And if you can’t get everything in one candidate, in the end, just pick the Republican. No need to look into the qualifications, education or experience for any candidate.
In the 2008 election there was never a question, I would vote for John McCain for president. Republican, White, Male, Veteran and War Hero. He checked all the boxes. I was disappointed when he lost because this was the first presidential election where I can remember really paying attention. Probably because it was the first time that you had both a woman and a black man on the ticket. But something clicked in my head when McCain spoke to his supporters following his concession call to Barack Obama. When McCain said Obama’s name the crowd began to ‘boo’.
I was extremely impressed with the way McCain handled the crowd. He exemplified something missing in today’s Republican party, grace. He campaigned, he debated, he lost. And he was gracious in his loss, dignified. That moment opened my eyes, it changed me. I was proud of McCain, while at the same time embarrassed to be a Republican.
Shame
I would be further embarrassed when I would here those on the right refer to President Obama as “Mister” Obama. Lawmakers did it, right wing media did it, even my fellow soldiers at the time. He wasn’t just the President, he was my Commander-in-Chief. And it was clear that this was racially motivated, it wasn’t a mistake.
When I saw Barack Obama sworn in as President I thought that the country had turned a corner, that we had put racism behind us. That my son would inherit a better America. I was correct in one thing, we had turned a corner, just not the direction I’d hoped. I’d been naive, not paying enough attention to the world around me. But no more. It was the last time I would vote with blinders on.
Taking the Blinders Off
I did my due diligence from then on, reading about each candidate, researching them online. Not only did I look for skills and experience, but their voting records. And their speech and actions also mattered. This became very important in 2016. I’d never paid any attention to Donald Trump before the election, and was leaning toward him. But when I started looking into it I saw what kind of person he was. The things he said, how he treated people, how he had defrauded people with his “University”, and cheated contractors. I knew I could not vote for him and for the second time in my life, I voted for a Democrat for President. Yet still hoped that the Republican party still had good in it. My hopes would be dashed.
Over the next four years I was sickened as I watched my Republican party devolve into fascism. I watched as Trump refused to condemn racism and fascism, and saying that Nazi’s were “very fine people.” Seeing sycophants populate the government. It is common for new administrations to be populated with those who worked on the campaign and other allies. But under Trump, people were being placed in government roles with no experience and whose only goal was to use monetize their new role. How Trump would accept the word of Vladimir Putin over that of the US Intelligence Community.
Shame Turned to Disgust
I watched as Trump tried to refuse cruise ships with Covid victims on board enter the US because the pandemic case numbers would go up. Trying to prevent Covid testing because “when you test, you have a case” which is the ‘stick your head in the sand and hope it all goes away’ crisis response. Telling America that we can cure Covid by injecting ourselves bleach or somehow shoving very bright lights into our bodies, and pushing unproven medications.
And as a veteran, I was sickened by Trump’s vile comments that those who serve are suckers and losers. His flagrant disdain for veterans. Saying that Senator John McCain was a loser because he’d been shot down over Vietnam and held as a prisoner of war, and how he likes people who “weren’t captured.” Trump went so far as to order the Navy to cover up the name of the USS John McCain anchored in Yokosuka harbor on his 2019 visit to Japan because he didn’t want to see it. Then finally, the desperate effort to overturn the 2020 election and the refusal to stop the insurrection.
It was more than Trump himself that ended my status as a lifelong Republican. There were the Republican justices who overturned Roe. The enabling of public hate and discrimination. Things that people only once said in private were now enabled and encouraged to say them publicly. Violence and threats of violence were now somehow allowed.
When Trump was impeached for soliciting a foreign leader for dirt on his political rival in exchange for foreign aid which was already approved, I watched Republicans rally to his defense. When he was impeached for his attempted coup, Republicans not only rallied to defend him, they lied in his defense. Bald faced lies like; January 6th was “just a normal tourist day.”
A New Path
I don’t know exactly the moment that it happened. There wasn’t an ‘ah-ha’ moment where a light bulb went on. But somewhere over the last decade I changed. What I wanted changed. I went from being a conservative Republican to a liberal Democrat. I want to leave a better world to my son and granddaughter.
I want a country where my kids will get to vote. Where my daughter-in-law and granddaughter will have control over their own bodies. Where they will be able to be educated, and to have every opportunity available to them as men. Where we have clean air and clean water. Where our national parks and forests haven’t been strip mined, drilled, or developed into resorts for the wealthy.
Whether I left the Republican party, or it left me, the result is the same. I’m on a new path forward.